However God has been speaking to me. Loud, strong words. Words i've needed to hear for a while now but have been pushing away from. But everyday i feel it...He's giving me that courage i've been asking for...a more fearless attitude. It's not perfect, but it's much stronger than it has been. And praise God for that, eh?
I had the privilege of going to Trans Siberian Orchestra last night thanks to a loving friend who knows how much i adore them. It was amazing. I sat there and watched some of the most talented musicians in the world, most of the time with my jaw on the floor, and all i could think was "God made them to do this". And i wonder how many of them even realize it. But then i got really excited because if God has made man able to make music like that, how amazing is that worship going to be in heaven? With songs and musical ability that we can't even ponder...and in the presence of our Lord no less! It baffles me a little.
And as i sat there and took it all in, i recognized this little place in me start to come alive again. A place i used to know so well, but i let fizzle out and die due to, you guessed it, fear. That desire to be a part of something huge and grand...something that provokes people to want to know their Maker more...something that is bigger than i could ever dream up or do on my own. Something that encompasses all the little and not so little desires and dreams and visions i've ever had for my life. There it was.
And i woke up this morning feeling A L I V E. Really alive...more alive than i've felt in a while.
It's about time i come back to life... Maybe next i'll even find a job :)
3 comments:
i hear ya becky... sometimes i get afraid that my dreams are too big.. and it hurts to dream them.. but, lucky us... God breathes life into painful dreams.. his honest promises take the place of doubt (everytime) ... and, like you, i definitely don't feel alive unless i'm dreaming... it's part of who i am.. who we are :) love you!
Ahh, Rebecca (yes, full name). God loves big dreams... that seem pretty much impossible. It requires us to rely completely on Him, and when the dream is made reality, we can't take the credit for it... because it was so big, only God could make it happen. That's an awesome place to be, mate! I'm so excited for you... and I love you!! alot! :-]
WELCOME BACK!!!!
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