Insomniac

Lately due to my lack of a job, plethora of friends who socialize late at night and love for all things after 1am, my sleep schedule has been completely messed up.  Normally, I would not mind this. In fact, most times I would welcome this.

However, since there are three mornings in a row where I am required to actually be up before noon, i thought that last night i would try to go to bed at a semi-respectable hour.  I was actually home last night by 12:30 and intended to be in bed by about 1.  That way by the time my alarm went off at 9...wa la! 8 hours of sleep.

Yeah...that didn't work.

I was actually IN bed by 1...but let myself read for a little while before trying to go to sleep. By about 1:30  i had all the lights off, ready for a good nights slumber. 

Except that i couldn't quit tapping my foot. and drumming my fingers. and trying desperately to remember what happened in the middle of "return of the king". In other words, i was completely wired.

so i read some more. no sleep. i "surfed the web" for a bit. no sleep.  i watched a missed episode of desperate housewives. no sleep.

finally, in desperation (it was after all 4:30 by this time. that's right 4:30! almost time for roomate to get up and go to work!) i googled "how to fall asleep"  which took me to a website describing several different techniques to force yourself into slumber.  Some of it was past being beneficial. Like the "3 hour famine". That wasn't going to work.

Play solitaire, breathing exercises, count as high as you can, imagine yourself sinking into a mattress.

And then i found it...my new favorite way to fall asleep EVER.

Think of Impossible Things

The website suggests imagining the most strange impossible things that you can.  For examples they list purple twinkies or walking on the walls.

I got way more excited about this idea than any sane person should at 4:45am, so i quickly shut macintosh o'malley for the night to see if it would work.  Probably the fact that i chose the "fun" option to fall asleep to should have warned me that this may not be the best method for me.

The first few minutes were spent giggling in the dark over what i was imagining.  Scenario 1...i sprout wings, fly through the sky and finally land on a cloud where i have tea with the sun and we have a very deep philosophical discussion.

Scenario 2...i'm able to run really fast. road runner fast. I'm talking legs going in a circle and a dust cloud behind me. And as i run down the road the mailboxes cheer me on and tell me how wonderful i am.

Scenario 3...I'm walking down the road holding my boyfriends hand when all of a sudden he turns into a giant pickle.  It's okay, i tell him i will still love him forever...

Somewhere in my pickled boyfriend situation i finally drift off to sleep.

And this game will forever be my favorite way to fall asleep.

And this may prove that i AM officially crazy.