LOVE

I have an absolutely wonderful group of friends. I've talked about them many times on here before, and will continue to as long as they are in my life.  These are friends that i am able to laugh with until we cry...and now that i think about it cry with until we laugh. And there is something beautiful about having people in your life that when you are at your worst and can't even form complete sentences, much less coherent prayers, will come behind you and hold you up and pray exactly what you haven't been able to get at amongst your wallowing and somehow show you hope when all you've been able to see is darkness.

These are the kinds of friends i've been blessed with.

The other night a few of my closest were at my house and we were sitting around talking about nothing in particular...it was pretty late and most of our other friends had already gone home.  There was one guy left there amidst about five of us girls, and out of nowhere he asked if he could talk to us about God.  He went on to talk about where he was at right now on his spiritual walk, and where he has been.  

He said this to us "I would give anything i could ever have to know God the way you guys know God and to love him the way you do.  I need to know WHY you love him the way you love him"

As we sat and conversed about this I was struck by his last question.  Why do i love God the way I love him?

Because he's worthy...because he's never failed me...because He loves me just as much when i'm being a complete jerk as he does when i'm living completely surrendered to him.

These answers were what came to my mind immediately.  And while they are completely true, and I love God desperately for all of those reasons, for some reason they didn't seem...enough?  They didn't even come close to touching the reason that I love Him so much. 

And i've been turning this question over and over in my mind since that night.  But i still haven't been able to really figure it out. Maybe because i know that my life would be a shadow of what it is now without him.  Maybe because I've seen the healing works that his love has done to me and those i love.  Maybe because I love that so much of him is such a mystery to me that i can trust that even when i can't comprehend his ways, i know that they are good.

I'm still not sure any of these come close to capturing my heart for him...and im definitely still processing this question.  But could it be that we will never be able to fully understand, much less explain, this love thing we have going on with our Maker?  I kind of hope that's it.